never sorry

To sum up a weekend should never be too difficult for a writer, but sometimes…

I’ll start you off with a photo I took in the subway, more or less what the “Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry” documentary made me think about in this digital age.
So which imitation in this photo is the real one?

I guess I’m still here because I some things to mull over, and this seem like the right place to do it. Not to say I’m an exhibitionist of any shade (harhar, “shade”- pretty sure no one is going get the joke in 6 months)- anyways.

This was the weekend for Rosetech’s K-ON (えいが/ “eiga“, movie) pool party! I guess I wasn’t really anticipating going anywhere after signing a sublet in Waterloo, but…
Ta-da~ Oakville x 映画「けいおん!」pool party.

What’s actually relevant about this poster is the effort that was put into putting it together, rather interesting the trials Rosetech went through to replicate the K-ON movie logo, addition to editing the town of Oakville sign, in high-res than the original, which I can appreciate.

And no pool party is complete without girls! OBVIOUSLY. I present otaku fanservice.
Haha, I’m kidding. Did you really think I would do that? 

I’m not too keen on discussing the finer details, I’m sure you can imagine what a pool party is like. It’s very strange to be a caught in a tornado of thought for a while, and then wake up and realize that people might find you a tad detached, which I suppose I should apologize for.

There’s just…some stickler points that refuse to leave my mind at this hour…just all the uncertainties as the school term approaches, and work is changing around a lot, or the redefining of “family” relationships. I’ll summarize my work term as August draws to a close, that’s another story. The first issue is dealing with others, which I would say I have improved on, and have become slightly more pro-active in interactions, but at the same time, leaving the passive stance places me at odds with people at times, either through unintentionally offending them, or causing massive misunderstandings. I’m not crying over this spilled milk, not that I’m entirely right one way or another.

Somewhat, it was something of an epiphany, to wake up and start “seeing” the flaws and aptitudes of others, rather than assuming the commonality between them. Perhaps, it’s a new appreciation of differences? That, and learning to work with others. Sometimes, it’s just realizing that a friend has grown up a lot since your last evaluation of others, or on the other hand, suddenly spotting the floundering, immature growth of others. But we all have our own paths to take, ways of growing, our own confrontations to take on.

There is a desire to understand others, and their thought and desires, in order to predict their future actions. But what if your predictions are always off? Or perhaps you are disappointed in the results? Maybe someone has done something, that you know is beyond their control, but how is this third factor to affect the original conclusion of character personality?

Say, for example, you make a promise. I suppose, in this definition, a promise is merely a statement of a future action. You are tied to this future action. But what if that future decision is brought into question, and you are forced to accept that the concept of the future action will be broken? Acceptance is perfectly normal, depending on the reason, but what if the reason is not to your standard?

The standard, obviously, is relevant to individuals. In order to come to terms to that action-not-taken, so you lower your standards for the promise of future actions with that person? In that choice of inaction, perhaps, you see a trail of unending “broken” promises, and you will always be on the edge, wondering if you should nod and agree along, or speak up and bring the other person to understand your feelings in the matter.

I think I’ve come to the conclusion of this discussion, nevertheless. External factors will always be key, but the ease in which these future actions are broken outside of these external factors is disheartening.

Or I just need to be less rigid in my methods of measuring others. I’m not angry by any stretch…more just sad.

Hopefully you’re not thinking that I’m always caught in these thoughts, but writing them out often helps me understand it better.

Moving along, I went to a documentary at the TIFF Bell Lightbox in the Entertainment District of Toronto. It was located next to theatres like the Princess of Wales Theatre and Roy Thompson Hall.  The documentary that had caught my eye and caused me to travel down to Toronto was “Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry.”

Out of the film, I can’t say that I was particularly… inspired, as I say? I more drawn to the methods that Ai Weiwei used to subvert a system inherently stacked against him . But underneath, it was a story of story, and it lacked the real punch I was hoping for. The film did humanize him, as it is difficult to learn of an artist merely through the dronings of art history profs. There was quite a lot of content to go on, as everything was recorded. From trips, to police brutality, to friends and family.

One key part drew me, and it was the method in which the reporter hesitantly asked about Ai Weiwei’s son, and the way the reporter dismissed Ai Weiwei’s straying as a side-effect of being “an artist.” If it wasn’t written clearly, Ai Weiwei had a son by a “friend”, and who  is evidently not his wife. He was not uncomfortable in his answering, but when asked what his wife thought of it, his reply after some thought, was “What can she do about it?”

What is it that the reporter can say such a thing, that straying is part of “being an artist”? This is somewhat contradictory to Ai Weiwei’s message of artist’s taking the higher moral ground in order to teach others…but how is being an artist make one less forgiving in partners straying?

Aside from that, the time spent with others that are a lot older than my university friends is bringing in a lot of other perspectives that would never exist, or would think would be possible in our minds. Relationships are a lot less straightforward over time, with beginnings, endings, overlaps. I don’t have a lot of extended family or family friends (of which I envy of my friends), so contact with the older “norm” is extremely limited. As much as students are educated, they are not particularly exposed to other environments are much as they should. A lot of things that I would conceive to be the right action is not the “right” answer, especially in the face of human folly and..well, emotional irrationality.

But I guess that’s what “love” is.

Out of that concept, it is possible to derive that a frontal appearance of hate is actually an act of love, a way of teaching. I had the impression that the act of defiance is only valid because of a love for China, but just not for the system it had created for itself. That’s I define the frustration I feel about the injustices and events I read about in the news about Hong Kong and China.

Despite the seriousness, there’s always plenty to laugh at.

Speaking of socia media and the power of the internets, I wonder if the university of Waterloo is going to search engine optimize the student blogs they’re going to ask first-years to write in order to show the sheer terror how great first-year university is, or all the student blogs raging about professional development, fake Jobmine glitches and raging at profs are going to float to the top? 8D



  1. You should publish that UWComics Club 4 koma about UW… more than just blogging, but a different way of exposing students to the society of the university. XD
    Documentaries really depend on how the director coordinates the story. There’s usually various perspectives exposed but seeing as it was done by someone as their first piece, expect scattered ideas. None-the-less, it’s the emotional build up and telling of events that makes the link to understanding what the message is.

  2. Your voice can never be heard if you don’t speak up. If there is a problem, and no one ever speaks up about it, then there is no perceivable problem to resolve. On the other hand, if everyone realizing the problem were to speak up, there is enough strength in their collective voices to cause change.

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