This blog would inevitably hit some sort of milestone, and here it is – 10 years. It’s given that many things have happened in that time…I’m still thinking there are so many art skills I really haven’t improved on. I’m probably the worst example of exploration, and it’s all documented on the web! For a decade.
It’s currently the fourth month of mostly staying at home. It’s not that different than the last time I was unemployed. I joke that I have a new job every year, and each time I think it’s going great…well, it just doesn’t work out. Comparatively to the first time I had a long job-hunt, I think I’m more mentally prepared. I’m also concerned that my friends or people recommend me and then I might disappoint people, even though I know that is not something I can control, or should worry about.
I graduated. I still do online learning, mostly with the help of a library card.
I studied and passed the JLPT N5 last year. I started it on a whim — a lot of things I do sometimes stems from an embarrassing moment in time, and in this case, it was failing to be selected for the JET programme. I decided to take evening classes, and here we are. I’ll do my best…I open this post from izuizu occasionally.
I often dream about the day I will have my own place with a steady income, and I don’t think that will come. I try not to be too down about it, but it creeps up sometimes. Is this is the emotion of liking something, but being bad at it?! Right now I’m still a developer(?), and I’m learning a lot about accessibility still. Can’t believe it’s only been 3 years since I took the plunge (here’s a picture of the back of my head at a11yTOconf). It feels strange to have something that I believe in strongly for myself in this industry, and that I would act on it so strongly. I actively ask employers about things I care about and I genuinely hope that someday my work will have the trappings of true craftsmanship. But maybe that’s a bit too high to aim.
I don’t know if this industry is even for me at times, but I’m trying. Tatiana Mac: “System of Systems” — Clarity 2019
I joined the club known as CTRL-A, got my very own first handheld in the form of a 3DS. Thank you to Punmaster for lending me the first PSP, to Cee for the secondhand PC that got me into PC gaming, and Helius (and many others!) for the PC building help. Thank you to all the kind and patient hunters over the years.
Overwatch is probably the game that has made me a lot louder and more willing to play multiplayer with strangers. I’m still bad at bluffing games and joining into games where I know I might let down the team, so I still enjoy solo games at my own pace. I started a club that used to meet in-person to play a video game that is very dear to my heart — Monster Hunter. We’re mostly hunting online these days, and I have kept some of the friends I made in Seattle last year while playing, and it brings me great joy even as I cart spectacularly to Alatreon’s Escaton Judgment. Thank you Banjoes for encouraging me to be louder in voice comms. :)
It turns out graphic design didn’t agree with me. I was self-taught, but I never did have the solid flare eye that would make me agency-worthy. I did eventually work as a graphic designer, but I’m much closer to the web side of things now, anyway. It’s still fun to me as a hobby, and I am grateful that TheOASG lets me experiment. I don’t know why I spent so much energy crying over all the failed interviews to try to get into an agency because I believed that was only way to be a “real” designer. I’m pretty happy doing web design these days. I keep staring at all the posts made by comic letterers, so maybe that’s something I’ll try. Technical artistry for video games looks like a fun blend, so maybe I’ll try that.
Art & drawing:
I fell off lettering in January. I kept saying that work was draining me, and it did. I have been looking at new tutorials, but we’ll see. Thank you to Miscarainious, LuckeeTrefle, and 10thcard for all the art chats.
It would be remiss to mention Imprint for being instrumental in my earlier years. I initially joined to gain access to the drawing tablet, but it definitely has grown to be something more.
I tabled at my first convention in January of this year. I am satisfied with experience. I suspect conventions in a physical format will not be returning any time soon, due to the current pandemic situation. I actually stopped attending them for the most part unless it was for work, and I enjoyed my experience at the International Fan Festival in 2019, and attending PAX West. I was looking forward to attending more, but…well, I think that just won’t be happening any time soon.
Diversifying my friend group with online groups really helped me in the last few years. I have different companions for different hobbies, and it’s not so bad. I feel a lot better with getting to know people in this way. I think one thing that came out of it is that I no longer have to play with or talk to people if I don’t want to. Knowing boundaries, and at times, purposefully creating distance, will save you a lot of energy in the long run. I think in some ways, knowing I can rely on myself is good enough. Thank you for all the friends and chats over the years, and hope we can meet in future.
Maybe I’ll update with posts that I’m proud of eventually. I did finally throw up that portfolio page that shows my epic amounts of procrastination and complete lack of focus over the years.
Here’s to collecting too many hobbies, to not fitting the mold, talking louder, believing in magic, trying new skills, failure, and doing your best. It’s been fun, and I hope that you will continue (or start!) something that you enjoy.
— Kaitou-al, August 2020